Finding Fulfilment Through Faith: Leadership, Community, and Personal Growth. with Cory Dunham.

Discover how faith can be a cornerstone for personal and professional fulfillment in our latest episode of the Everlasting Fulfillment Podcast. Cory Dunham, an inspiring public speaker, author, and faith-based leadership coach, shares his compelling story of weaving his Christian beliefs into all facets of life. Listen as Cory opens up about overcoming the fear of judgment, finding divine purpose, and the stabilizing power of faith. You’ll also hear about his unique life experiences, including his hands-on attempts to automate daily tasks and his adventurous journey as a private pilot.

Have you ever wondered how mentorship and community involvement can transform lives? Transitioning from a corporate IT role to a more people-focused career in HR and coaching, Cory reveals the profound impact of creating safe environments where individuals feel free to share their struggles. Hear firsthand how he has moved from being an introverted individual to a community leader, fostering connections and uplifting others both in the workplace and church communities. This episode is a treasure trove of actionable insights on how service can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.

Finally, we discuss the exciting opportunities of the digital age and how they can revitalize entrepreneurial endeavors. By balancing stability with creative projects and fostering a community-centric mindset, we can all contribute meaningfully to society. Cory and I also touch on the evolving art of parenting, focusing on the balance between guidance and freedom to foster creativity and independence in children. Celebrate the milestones of our podcast, learn the importance of long-term vision, and discover the benefits of high-quality, personalized coaching services. Join us as we reflect on the significance of rituals, mentorship, and sustainable practices in achieving a fulfilling and impactful life.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/cory-dunham/

Sponsored by Nico Van de Venne CommV

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Faith and Fulfillment in Business
• 9:51 Inspiring Service and Personal Growth
• 20:22 Exploring Entrepreneurship and Community Bonds
• 26:42 Parenting and Empowering Through Guided Choice
• 32:18 Vision, Leadership, and Generational Wisdom
• 43:33 Deep Dive Into Premium Coaching Services

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Let me invite you to sit back, drop your jaw, tongue and shoulders, take a deep breath and, if you wish, close your eyes for a moment and feel the beat within. In a few seconds, you just jumped from your head to your heart and felt the beat within, opening up to receive even more value and fulfillment out of your business and life. And today's episode. I'm your host, nico van der Venne, confidant to successful CEO founders, entrepreneurs who are striving to achieve everlasting fulfillment. Welcome to the Everlasting Fulfillment Podcast with our next guest, cor Dunham. Corey is a public speaker, author and a faith-based leadership development coach. He also owns a marketing agency that helps companies create thought leadership and grow their awareness through various digital media and content. Corey, welcome to the show. How are you today, my man?

Speaker 2: 1:07

Yeah, thank you so much, Nico, doing excellent.

Speaker 1: 1:11

Great Faith leadership. Talk us through that story. That's, that's an amazing thing. I recently recorded a podcast episode on faith, not a religious faith, but the faith from within. That was that part. So where do you end up with that beautiful word?

Speaker 2: 1:32

Yeah, for me it really goes back to both my upbringing and what makes me who I am, which is my Christian faith.

Speaker 2: 1:42

My belief in Jesus Christ is my savior.

Speaker 2: 1:45

And one of the most interesting things is that time goes by fast and I'm 55 years old, going on 56 this year, and as I look back, I felt kind of empty in many different ways in terms of I've never really connected with my purpose and what truly makes me who I am, and that's basically saying I've lived most of my personal life and my business life without really talking much or really connecting my faith to it, and I think a lot of that stemmed from the fear of being judged.

Speaker 2: 2:25

And I think, as I look back on my life, I see the way I behaved and I've held back in many different ways because I felt, ooh, I don't want to be judged, I don't want to be made fun of, I want to be accepted and come to find out as I've learned over time through mentors and coaches and the people I've ended up hanging out with successful business and family people that I can't be successful if I'm always worried about what 8 billion opinions are of me rather than focusing on either my own opinion of myself and worth and my family and close friends. So I was focusing on way too many people and you can't please everyone, as we all know, or at least most of us know.

Speaker 1: 3:12

Yeah, absolutely I feel it. Indeed, it is indeed something that a lot of us struggle with, especially when you're facing outward, when you have a business or any kind of profession where you, you know, show your face for either a product or a service or whatever it may be. Even a minister, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Anybody who's you know faces the public has this beautiful thing that's called you know opinions, and I uh, from a couple of conversations with with a couple of ceo well, one ceo who was um, who was at a point where, indeed, he was also very um, very faithful, uh, to his religion it was not the same as yours, but in any case he had a religion and and he was afraid to actually mention the fact that he was religious. So once he was one of his sources of stability and meditation in his own way, and that was beautiful. The day that he came out with saying listen, guys, this is how I see it because I've always learned it from this book, et cetera. And then he came out on a certain moment where I think it was kind of a team building story with high management, and there was a lot of guys who just said, oh, finally somebody is actually talking about this because we can actually have deep conversations now. It was like this barrier that was broken up in little pieces. Of course, it wasn't the first day that they talked about it. It had.

Speaker 1: 4:50

You know, trust has to be built, but it's a pity because, in all honesty, as a human being, we need faith. We need faith. We actually need that, not only in an external source or any sort, but the faith of believing in and I always love to say believing in because the light comes from within, the fire comes from within. It is us who takes the action, even if it's preordained or not preordained, we are doing the action. So that's the steps have to be there, and what you're saying is, you know, synchronizing that with your business, and that's beautiful, it's beautiful. So what was the key point where you like said, okay, this needs to change.

Speaker 2: 5:43

Yeah, actually, if I could slightly tweak your question to what were the key points along, the way.

Speaker 2: 5:52

So much of this has been a journey and it has not been just a. I was hoping. A long time ago I was like, okay, I figured life out, I figured it out, I know what to do now. But as life changes, all kinds of things happen. With family, occupation, the world, a number of different things can happen. So you have to kind of be flexible and I think, having just kind of a growth mindset or willingness to learn new things and willing to personally develop in different areas, to personally develop in different areas, and I know initially most of my thought process was to try to get everything.

Speaker 2: 6:32

And this is this is 30 plus years ago, so way before the Internet or AI automation I was thinking of different ways to kind of automate my life. So I didn't have to think anymore. You know, put everything on autopilot, so to speak. When you think of airplanes, which I'm also a private pilot, so I'm not a commercial pilot, but I also have a private pilot's license and that's also part of the journey too. But I try to put things on autopilot and what I found myself doing is, instead of focusing on quality of life, I was focusing on laziness of life, or doing less and less of life and over time, the more I did that, I realized I was like, well, I'm just not happy, I'm not fulfilled, I don't feel good about this and setting things on autopilot, you're just. You know, you're kicking back and I don't think we're made as human beings to just kick back and kind of be unproductive. If you've got everything, you're 100% autopilot. I think we're still made to empower other people, to uplift, to pull somebody up along the way not give them a handout, but give them a handout, along with mentoring other people and creating new growth or sharing some of my experiences and basically serving other people, which is the example I've gotten from Jesus Christ Just being a servant of other people or loving other people first before and if you even expect anything back from it, but just doing it because it's the right thing.

Speaker 2: 8:02

So, multiple points along the way, I would say, and once again, part of that is age. Time has clicked away and I'm married 24 years now and I have three young adult kids, the youngest being 17 years old, a junior in high school, and then the older two are in their low 20s, both multiple years in college and before I know it, in the blink of an eye, they could be out of the house, whereas all of them are currently living in the house. I don't see them as often, but they're very responsible, they work, they go to school. But then I realized, man, if I blink my eye one more time, they could be out and gone. So I have to be way more intentional when it comes to creating relationships and communication with them, because they're my tightest team.

Speaker 2: 8:51

If we use the word teams for everything, we all have teams. Either it's just us as ourselves, our family, our friends, our neighbors, and then our associates, our colleagues and maybe other people around the world. But I think we're always in a team with somebody, or in communication or in community with other people. So I realize, if I don't have that quality of life with my own family members, my kids, my wife, then what is the use of life if I'm just running through life from point to point to point to point? What is the use of life if I'm just running through life from point to point to point to point? And I know you and I have talked about how life and success is a journey. It's not the destination, where you get it, but it's who you become along the way and also, too, who you can touch, who you can encourage, who you can uplift, because we all have problems, we all have challenges, and many times we don't know it until we get into those deeper conversations or ask better clarifying questions.

Speaker 1: 9:51

Yeah, it's beautiful what you were saying about not only giving out, let's say, a donation towards somebody who's at the side of the road, but giving them the opportunity to learn something so that they can lift up themselves. It's one of the things that I love doing. It's one of the reasons I actually stepped out of the corporate world, from IT, into the more human part of a corporate world. I would say, into the more human part of a corporate world, I would say, where I do one side, hr, training and that stuff. On the other side, I love doing the coaching and the mentoring. I don't call it coaching and mentoring anymore because I'd rather have something much deeper which is confidant, and to me the terminology is pretty important because as a coach, you ask questions to get somebody somewhere, or as a mentor, you guide somebody somewhere and you give them tips and tricks and experience. But as a confidant, I would rather have a safe environment where somebody could explain what is going on and explain their struggles and still maybe ask them questions to get them through the barriers that they meet. But in essence it is more a story of being that person that's right next to them and encouraging them.

Speaker 1: 11:16

I think you understand as well as a leader. Sometimes you can see people right in front of their own wall and they're going to walk right into it blindly and you have to let them do it, because that's where the moment of epiphany, of a breakthrough or whatever the name might be, that's where it is, and if you would as us, we would say you know the wall is coming, you know if you do this you will avoid the wall. But that won't work. You know it's something that limits their capacity to learn, and being in service of others is, to my mind, something very beautiful and very fulfilling. So you are also very active in your church community, if I understand correctly. How does that roll out into? You know you do marketing. So that's one part, and how does that other part, you know, kind of weave in together in the story?

Speaker 2: 12:20

Yeah, I think, even just in this last year, my calling and what I feel God has been communicating to me is that some of my old habits and patterns I've got to let go of and some of my comfortabilities, because growing up I used to call myself an introvert.

Speaker 2: 12:38

So now I say, ok, I've had introverted tendencies in many different ways, like I said, having a lot of fears with communicating with people, speaking my what I feel is right, or speaking up in conversations, taking leadership roles all those things I never did.

Speaker 2: 12:56

So I'm like, oh, I'm not good at that, I'm not comfortable, I just want to be out of the limelight, I don't want to be noticed, and because of all that, I think it's really held me back and I basically played a small role and, as somebody else has said, you know you're playing probably been one of the biggest things that's helped me to become accountable to. What I've done is by speaking it first and then actually doing it, because now everybody knows about it, and by doing that and coming more out of my shell and communicating, I found, oh my gosh, it feels so good to do that. And I'm not judging anybody else for what they say, and in most cases people don't judge you, especially if you have an environment that's fostering equal trust, equal accountability and being authentic and being authentic. So I've learned I can create those environments and how I approach people, how I listen to them actively instead of just listening to respond, like I've always wanted to do.

Speaker 2: 14:13

I'm like oh, I know the answer. I know the answer, but really actively listening and finding out, okay, what's exactly going on in their mind and then being clear okay, are we both on the same page? And that's still a difficult thing at times because we think we're on the same page but sometimes we're not. But this past year especially, I've created I don't have any official capacity in the church but I've created at least one position where I created small groups. I heard a need in our church where there's a number of new members, especially who've been around for a year or two but haven't been able to connect and community at the church, and also to some of those people want to get into small groups but just with our church staff being overwhelmed that things just weren't happening and coming out of the pandemic, things still weren't happening. So I of the pandemic, things still weren't happening. So I just said, hey, can I, can I be this position, create this position for myself, totally volunteer. But it just felt like god was giving it to me and I volunteered in the church for the last 30 plus years and I've enjoyed it, mainly with youth leadership, but then getting out of my comfortability with just working with youth and now working more with adults, come to find out. That's totally fine too, because I have the same principles treating people like they're friends, treating them like they're family, and then just being mutually respectful and listening to what they have to say. And come to find out. We were able to, at least at this point, over the last eight, nine months, set up three new Bible study groups, which is awesome. Hasn't been that difficult, and I found, like people say, wow, corey, you do so much in the church, thank you for doing so much in church. I'm like I don't actually do much in the church, that it feels like Whereas when I was asked to do it a long time ago or just wasn't comfortable, it felt like a lot. But having this new spice to life or doing something different, that empowers people once again empowers community, and also it's me able to serve. Now I've got a bunch of both new friends, new connections in the church, people I would have never met, and so it's fostered a lot of different things for me and uplifted me and almost created another new supportive community for myself, along with them having a new community to go in.

Speaker 2: 16:34

So I think, when it comes to business marketing, serving at the church. It's really, you know, it's a microcosm, or just like our families. If we get that right, we communicate well, start there and then move to the outward world I think a lot of people are going to have a better situation instead of, hey, let me get it right at work and then come home and we neglect our home life, which I did for a long time. I used to work overtime, didn't really have much respect for my wife or my kids and helping out at home, so that's affected me ever since that point and that's something that's devastating to me. So a lot of my priorities have changed toward more toward family, and I've stopped focusing on making money. It's like, okay, how can you know, if we do have the money, what quality things can we do with this, whether it's fun stuff for the family? I was just talking with my wife this morning about being able to help my son move out of the house and get an apartment or a rental home or whatever, just for part of his year going to Eastern Michigan University and that conversation isn't finished. But I'd like to do something like that because I know he's worked hard and all my kids have worked hard, but just using money in different ways, like you were talking earlier, for donations or other causes, and that's kind of what I want to do now versus before.

Speaker 2: 18:00

All I wanted was, hey, I want to make millions and millions so I can have a motorcycle, fly airplanes, have homes, travel, blah, blah, blah. But then I found out after years and years and decades of pursuing money, it really didn't help me feel fulfilled. There wasn't much enjoyment of that. I'm like, okay, once I make a million bucks, that doesn't seem like enough. Now I need two million, now I need 10 million. I Now I need $10 million. What am I going to do with that except sit it in a bank account? But when I think about the causes I can help in families and kids and people growing people, our society becoming better, because everybody's contributing instead of taking from society, and that's a huge important thing for me. So I think you know, serving other people, you have to lead by example and sometimes you know it doesn't always work out the way we think it's going to work out. But if we're doing that, hopefully that creates a culture of everyone giving back, of everyone giving back.

Speaker 2: 19:03

And I think one of the biggest things I don't know if you call it phrases or ideas was pay it forward.

Speaker 2: 19:09

That I heard years back and I've heard a lot of people doing this.

Speaker 2: 19:14

They might be in a McDonald's or wherever fast food line and they pay for the guy behind them in the line, so they don't have to pay the next two or three people, and that might only be $20 or $30. No big deal, but how empowering is that when somebody comes up to pay like, oh, the person in front of you took care of it and all they asked is that would you take care of the person behind you? That's all they asked. You don't have to, but just do that. And imagine if we did that, the community of people that we know most of us know probably a good few dozen people pretty well, up to a few dozen Now. Imagine we would have that's roughly 30, 40 people each giving to us, while we're just giving to one or two people here and there. We're going to be fully abundant and receive abundantly. So I like that idea of everybody giving instead of, if you go the other way, where everybody's taking from society or taking from our neighbor.

Speaker 1: 20:09

Now nobody has anything and everybody's going to be guarded. That's beautiful, yeah, that's a very, very positive note. And I wonder, I always wonder the what-if story. So if we go back to the point where you know you always have these two ways in life. One way is where you ended right now. You know you're contributing, you're looking at the serviceability, et cetera. Who would Corey be if you would not have walked into this path? You went to the other path. What would have happened then? You kind of glanced on it, but I think it's sometimes a good thinking process.

Speaker 2: 20:51

Yeah, well, it's hard to say where I would have been. I can't even imagine. But I know one thing I do talk about with people all the time is that many people in life they, you know, when you're young, your kids, are very creative and open to ideas and excitement and adventure Over time. When we get to our 20s, 30s and 40s, you're kind of getting set in your habit. You know you have these great goals early on and great ambitions, but then you realize, ooh, depending on what opportunity you're pursuing, what your mindset is and how hard you're willing to work, we're all very limited.

Speaker 2: 21:29

Basically, most people may go into corporate at this point in time. They're working for another company and there's limits on what you can earn, some of the freedoms, all that kind of thing. Well, now we have opportunities for people to go in business for themselves. Whether they're a fractional professional or an Uber driver or whatever it is, there's more opportunities to go in business for yourself, which is kind of the way our United States started. Our country way back was people owning their own businesses or farms back in the day, and very few people worked for others. So I think I'm kind of lost track of what the question was Sorry who I would be, that's okay, that's okay.

Speaker 1: 22:10

Yeah, no, it's very. The thought process is very intriguing because you're going from. I love it because actually it is indeed pretty difficult to look at. The other side of it's something that either we don't want to look at and it's not the case where you're talking about it but it's something that gives you even more joy and fulfillment of what you have right now. And I love it when you come back to the fact that a lot of opportunities are out there right now for a lot of people to start their own business. Like you say, they can halftime it, they can, they can, you know, side hustle it. They can do whatever they want and think of. You know I need that stability. Yeah, fine, go right ahead and look for that stability and do something else on the side.

Speaker 1: 23:09

With all these technologies that we have online, you know you've got this digital, digital content. Even if you're a creative person and you love painting, you can put that online and somebody might buy it where 30 years ago, if you would have wanted to sell a painting, you would have some serious problems because you need an environment for it. I noticed in my village here, so we always have these smaller communities in that village, in that other village, there is a painter and you drive by his atelier where he has all his paintings stacked up and I can assure you, corey, there's a bunch of them there and I wouldn't even feel welcome to walk in there because it's so messy and it's a pity because if you look from the window, there's a couple of beautiful pieces in there. Because it's so messy and it's a pity because if you look from the window, there's a couple of beautiful pieces in there, and what we now have is the opportunities to put these on a digital format, take a picture of one painting and nicely neatly put them right next to each other on an Etsy or whatever might be the solution.

Speaker 1: 24:16

And when we go back to the roots of of, for instance, america yeah, it was a country based on one man's brow, you know, the family was was supported by, by the wife and the husband and the children, because everybody had to contribute to the whole story where what I see sometimes these days is that it's wife and husband and the children they're playing around with, you know, digital stuff and so on, and they're not really contributing because they're not not pulled into the story either. You know, I'm one of those people as well. I usually I don't ask my kids to do anything. I've become to the point where I actually start asking them to do stuff. You know, they're turning 14 and 12 and they're independent in any case. So one of the other things that I wanted to, you know, feed within them is that creativity and that solopreneur story, wherein you take something you might even go work for a boss, but still do something that you find fulfilling and add to the world, be of service to others through that other means.

Speaker 1: 25:28

It might be like a church story or another system, but indeed I love it where you come back to the original idea of, because in Europe it's pretty difficult to look at the original idea. Do you know what I mean? There's no history of the original idea. You know, I live in Belgium, which is kind of a neutral zone between Holland, germany, france and England. That's how it kind of got created at some point, and we're a super complex country. But we have like a history of 150 or 200 years old I think it's what's 1830, when, when the country was founded. So 200 years old, almost. Us is 250 already, almost.

Speaker 1: 26:09

So there's there's a lot of uh things going on here that I sometimes wonder can we go back to the roots please? You know the essence of how everything started, where you had all these different communities and everybody took care of each other within those communities and of course, there was a rivalry. Okay, yeah, you know, somebody else's hair might look different, so you don't like it. Then they start fighting. Okay, or you wanted resources from one or the other. Still, the idea of that close community and that's.

Speaker 1: 26:42

I'm starting to miss that a little bit because as a kid we we had other people in our village, um, who came to church on sunday and told my parents what I was, you know, doing as a little rascal, you know, setting things on fire and stuff like that. Fun stuff, yeah, fun stuff, exactly In my eyes at that time, but for grownups it was a little bit different. But yeah, I'm starting to lose that. And well, I'm starting to see less and less see that how other people might protect children from themselves. I don't know how that's for you, but I see that these days.

Speaker 2: 27:24

Yeah, and I was just going to say that with my kids. You know, it's the same way. Before I kind of wanted to be this helicopter parent because I had this personality that I wanted to control everything. So to come out, the right way you know my way.

Speaker 2: 27:40

Of course that's not the right way, it's just my way and I've learned to understand that and be more flexible and adaptive.

Speaker 2: 27:48

But realizing that I'm here, I feel for my kids to guide them, not necessarily to tell them where to go, my kids to guide them, not necessarily to tell them where to go, but as long as they're moving and doing something, like you said, I want to make sure they still have creativity, they still have some energy and passion and I can help bolster that, promote them, lift them up in what they choose to do, and not so much dictate. Now, as it turns out, one of my I have two boys and a girl and, as it turns out, my oldest son is doing almost everything that I've done. So he's gotten into motorcycle riding, just like I've done. He's also taking flying or pilot lessons and he just soloed just a month or so ago and I got my pilot's license when I was young and a number of different things where he's just following along and I didn't do that on purpose, it's just something he's taken to, and and my other son and my other daughter.

Speaker 2: 28:45

They also have great things they're into and fantastic things. So all of them are individual. But I've had to learn to both be patient and really get to know them, like some people say for coaches and patient and really get to know them, like some people say for coaches and their teams. You got to know your players, who your players are. Not everybody's motivated the same way, not everybody's interested in the same things. So at least as a family, if we figure out what people are motivated in and we can still uplift that and empower them, then we can probably have some commonalities on okay, we have a family unit. As a team we're trying to go in this direction, or we're an organization we're trying to go in this direction. So there's always a sacrifice a little bit. But if we're empowering people, that's going to build the trust, that's going to build a deeper relationship. And I know, like I said, I wanted to be a helicopter parent but realized down the road I'd rather have my kids, which I assume will be adults longer than they are kids. We're going to have this adulting relationship longer that. I'd rather have my kids be able to come back to me and feel safe and confident, that they can talk with me about anything They've messed up. They can talk with me. We've had successes. They can talk with me and I'll listen.

Speaker 2: 30:01

And I've had to really decide that and make choices toward you know how I'm going to treat them. That's forward-looking, that's long-term, that's going to create that mutual respect. I'm not better than them. I'm here to just guide them or provide a second mind or second brain to say, hey, here's what I've seen in my circumstances. You can make the choice you're making and or you can change it just a little bit or tweak it.

Speaker 2: 30:26

But if you go down this road is what I've seen Maybe you'll have more issues or the kinds of friends you hang around, what's your influence and environment. So I think it's so important for people to once again stay creative and not to squash that creativity, which is what I feel a lot of times our education system does up through 12th grade and just kind of limits them. But now we've got this environment of, like you said, entrepreneurs, technology and everything else. We can think more freely and there is no bad idea. A lot of the bad ideas or crazy ideas are now the ones people are using and have made millions or billions of dollars only because, they pursued it.

Speaker 1: 31:07

They were determined as they persisted yeah, yeah, there's a couple of great examples out there. Uh, what, um, from from my experience, my point of view on on what I call my faith, um, we always say that our children chose us so that they are the ones who chose our presence as being a part of our lives, to teach us things and, where we had a role of bringing them into the world physically, mentally is our major task is to protect them from the outside world and guide them towards their, their final destiny, and that's I've always loved that. Loved that, because it's not. It's not that we fully put all responsibility with our kids where they have to decide everything. It's not that it is more or less giving them the opportunity to decide. We always tend to protect them of the wrong decisions, but nonetheless, I have my oldest son right now.

Speaker 1: 32:18

I just sent out recently that the podcast has 25 episodes. He was like, wow, I hit the barrier. Usually it's like 21, I think, and usually a lot of people stop but thank you, but I've got, you know, I think after you I've still got like 20 episodes planned already. So the whole summer it's planned and every week there's going to be somebody launching. So that's just beautiful and I'm very, very grateful for that. And now he's like saying that you're going to have competition. Then you are going to have competition. Youtube is too small for the both of us. It's like that. I'm like okay, kid, do it, do it. You know, give me 10 episodes and I will pay for your equipment. You know I've got this old mic that I installed a new one. I've got the old mic. You will get that. You know, ring light, stuff like that. I'm like, yes, please take the opportunity and do things.

Speaker 1: 33:16

Because what I see sometimes in the school area I would call it in general is they get a lot of education and I think that says enough. They get a lot of education. There's a lot of stuff they need to plug into that brain. That's a lot of input. But I'm looking at where's the guidance, the extra layers? You have information. We also like in marketing and whatever system that you have. You know you have to take certain steps to do the best to get stuff right out. So that's technical. But where's the leadership, where's the guidance towards becoming more or better than the day before and all that beautiful stuff? I don't see it. You know, if they don't get it at home, where will they get it used to be a society where, where the elders, you know, I love.

Speaker 1: 34:08

I love the idea of of how, in in all tribes, people got together and then a young man or a child became a young man at maybe 12 years old. Okay, we cannot imagine that anymore. And they go through a ritual of becoming a man at that young age. And even for girls, exactly the same principle. And these days there is no entourage. That has a certain maturity.

Speaker 1: 34:39

I'm not going to say it's always that good of an influence. There might be other influences that might have not been so good, but I still think that a big part of transitioning as a boy, from manhood, where your body changes in so many different ways, which is exactly the same for a girl, which is usually much more visible to the parents, I see these things as steps in life that should be, you know, nurtured, supported in a different way, where you're like okay, you're becoming a man. What does that mean? What is becoming a man? It's not about being rough and tough and muscles. No, it's becoming nurturing and protecting and knowing that you are going to provide, because that's the natural system of a man.

Speaker 1: 35:31

We are the hunters of the family. We went off for a while and then came back with a big buck on our on our shoulders. Well, usually a couple of us carried it because a little bit heavy, but anyway, it was a good meet in any case. But, yeah, these things have been dissipating, you know, and I I've been thinking about this for for a long time actually, on how can we reintegrate these rituals into our children's lives again, of course you have older children and nonetheless, that might even be fun for them to get this kind of a ritual where you pass on into a new stage of life, like when you leave the house. How do you leave the house? Well, yeah, yeah, maybe write down something and leave it behind and say thank you for being my protector for all these years. You know, the roof over my head. It's something I do miss, I must say, um, and and it's something that I think might be good to to reintegrate into our society yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree.

Speaker 2: 36:37

If I may say a few things about that, I think, yeah, I think the um. One of the best ways is is for each of us to figure out what our vision is of life, is kind of what's happening around us, and to look at that division, that vision, and clarify to say, hey, is this, can I see this? Playing out down the road, Like for me, my old mentality of just, oh, let me get lazy, let me automate everything. Now, 20 years from now, is that am I going to create a good example for the next generation or even people around me? Because I feel no matter where you are in an organization, you can display leadership skills and influence and have an impact on people, it doesn't matter where you are.

Speaker 2: 37:22

So, looking at that vision long term, is that sustainable? Number one like I think of our in America here, our Social Security system. It was sustainable maybe for the first four years 50 or 60 years. For the first four years 50 or 60 years but now, since we're living longer, the cost of inflation, not as many people putting into that tax system that's not a sustainable system and I know for over 20, maybe 30 years now they've talked about is this going to last? Is it going to be there for those people who are retiring? So we have to look at, is it sustainable? Then?

Speaker 2: 37:55

Number two what are some ways I can behave today, what are some activities and mindsets I can behave today so that we prepare the next generation for both, I feel creativity, growth, supporting everyone, and also to the fact and I've had a hard time with this but the idea that there isn't really any competition. If you're using your creativity in your brain, there isn't any competition. And then other people like Dan Sullivan of Strategic Coach, who's been around for maybe 40, 50 years coaching entrepreneurs. He's talked about then getting to a higher, higher level of looking at your competition, because most people still see competition. But now, collaborating with your competition and that's a high level thing where most people are like, no, no, no, we need to outdo our competition.

Speaker 2: 38:50

So if we have higher levels of mindsets and states of being or ideas that are abundant, abundant thoughts, abundant mindsets, then I think, moving forward, we'll have this idea of mentoring other people, training and up-leveling them in one way or another. And, just like you mentioned the multi-generational family, that used to be that if you had a grandkid and there was three or four generations in the household, like there was maybe 50 or 70 years ago, that grandkid could pick up the crumbs just by being in the room. They may not contribute at all, but they can pick up the crumbs from so much wisdom. And so I've heard people say that a lot of wisdom and education is not taught, but a lot of wisdom and education is caught, and I think that's a huge thing that we don't see as much, like you said, we don't see today, because we're all scattered or on our devices, distracted and doing other things that maybe aren't as may not be as productive. Sure, it's fine to have fun and relax, but it has to be.

Speaker 2: 39:53

There has to be some type of balance. But the way they create apps nowadays and all the endorphin rush and everything else, it makes it very difficult to get away from those things once we're on that addictive device.

Speaker 1: 40:05

Yeah, absolutely. I deleted the apps. I was starting to get addicted to one of those beautiful things called TikTok.

Speaker 2: 40:13

Yes, yes, it's tough, it's tough.

Speaker 1: 40:15

Yes, yes, I deleted it and it feels a lot better. I've always already started to think about eliminating all my social media and adding it to a virtual assistance portfolio so that they manage it and they follow up and they just have to tell me message this person or message that person don't touch anything else, because you're probably going to mess it up anyway right, I agree, and I liken that I'm sorry to a bible story.

Speaker 2: 40:48

You know, daniel and the lion's den. It's like we rather have somebody else, even though God was going to protect Daniel. If we had somebody else go on that line then, just in case there was trouble there or addiction in your case you're talking about with apps it would be so much nicer. It's like, oh, let me deal with things that are more manageable, and I think that's the problem, not that we should run away from challenges or anything, but if it's a drug, if it's addictive, you got to know kind of your limits and what we're capable of, because we're humans, we have limitations on our energy and attention and all different types of things and uh, and everybody's different in that and depending on the day, that could be different. So I appreciate you, you're in your willingness to delete those apps or at least transfer how they're managed yeah, indeed, yeah, thank you, and and and, indeed it is.

Speaker 1: 41:39

It is a focus that gives you a certain amount of energy loss and, and that energy, once that gets liberated, you can focus it again on something else. Usually, you know, the first step is to recognize that the energy is being lost and you find the solution of where is it going? Oh, that's it. So you delete it, delete the addiction, but then it takes a little bit of time to get used to not having it, because that also causes a little bit of energy loss, because that's the doubt of oh, what am I going to do in the meantime, et cetera, et cetera. And then you start switching over and finding another, more positive addiction, like podcasting, for instance. I'm meeting wonderful people on podcasts, but it is a lot more fulfilling and a lot more energy-giving as well. I want to jump back into what you were saying earlier about competition. We, I think about two years ago I had a beautiful small network of people and we are still in touch, but a little less but, but we are still in touch and we did a lot of co-creation where we said, you know, some of us had a training to do and they were like, yeah, I do this alone, but actually I could use somebody you know to spar or to show others how we do it. And then we kind of split it 70-25 or 70-30 or whatever. But because they did the marketing and all that stuff, sales and so on, it gets a little smaller cut. But it's a co-creation story where there's a nice balance and I've come to a point where I don't see competition anymore because, in essence, what I do is so unique you can look up Confidant, for instance I specifically look for things that are completely different than anybody else.

Speaker 1: 43:33

I also work premium. I only work with nine clients for a whole year. That's all I do. I don't have groups or anything like that, and it costs me a lot more energy to get those clients. That's absolutely true. It takes me a lot longer, but the beautiful thing is I have 100% time that is split over nine different people, instead of 100% time split over, let's say, 1,000 people. It gets a lot smaller then, a lot smaller.

Speaker 1: 44:05

And that's where I love it, because if I have time, if I need time for my client, they send me a message and we jump on a call or I reply or we do a Zoom call where we now say, if you're normally coaching, you're like, okay, two hours should be the limit. People get tired. No, we continue, because I have had so many cases and I really have Corey the moment that the two-hour clock hits you're at the point of a breakthrough. You do not stop, you do not stop, you continue, you just go on, because that's the moment when it counts and it's not. Then it's not about you know that extra 50 bucks that you're going to earn, no, it's about the breakthrough and that's so much more valuable. And that's that's why I said I don't have any competition because what I do is unique it's difficult absolutely, but it's so beautiful, it's so fulfilling.

Speaker 1: 45:03

Yeah, that's a completely different story. So tell us a bit about how you so you're basically doing a lot of stuff with the church. Are you doing anything specific for other people or companies in company, or anything like that?

Speaker 2: 45:17

Yeah. So there's one thing I've attracted a number of coaches for some of the leadership development that I do in slash marketing, so I can really coach in a number of different areas, since I've been involved with our business and other businesses running them for at least this marketing business for over 36 years I think that it's been of the 44 years you've been in business. So I have a lot of different areas. And that was funny too, because I I never thought what could I teach anybody, what would I know, and then come to find out there's a lot of businesses that haven't been around for a decade or 20 years or 30 years, and a lot of them were started up just in the last probably 20 plus with the internet and all the opportunities. But, um, it it really depends on the customer and similar what you said about only having nine clients, that, um, we don't have as many clients either. So we've acted probably as a, you know, as a marketing agency in the past for a lot of the businesses we've helped, but it hasn't been a lot of them. So we try to go deep in quality Also, not just providing the marketing services but consulting with them If they need another set of ears or eyes or suggestions. We're there to provide that and a lot of that came as the added value. We didn't charge for that. So we try to give.

Speaker 2: 46:42

Like I said, treat people like people and I think that's one of the biggest things, that almost everything that I do, whether it's at church, at home or in business, is just being respectful. Realize it's human to human. It's not I'm dealing with this company. No, you're dealing with this person in this position at this company, but treating them as if, like, they're my family member and I want them to succeed, and giving the best I can, rather than, like you said, potentially nickel and diming them. Oh, here we go. No, just create the value and I think, like you've proven with your business model, that if you create the value, you're unique and you're really others focused and that's going to come back around or you'll be taken care of long term, because that's a unique thing too. A lot of companies just want to make revenue and create a business model, but it sounds like you truly want to help people, which is awesome and has a lot of integrity and authenticity to it. So it's hard to say what specifically we do for each company, but some is depending on who I'm coaching. It's mindset things we have to get around, because we can get them given the strategies and activities and we can do them for them as part of our marketing services and we'll get that job done. But if they're doing themselves, sometimes the boat or the ball drops, rather because they're wearing many hats the people we're dealing with in the marketing department or or the C-suite level and then all of a sudden something new comes up two months from now. So now their energy is diverted, their priorities are changed and then all of a sudden the ball gets dropped even more. So we provide those additional services to help them in the case that they aren't able to do it themselves or they need more time to focus on the priorities of their business, and especially in engagement when they're communicating with their clients or prospects. They know their business, they know what they can offer. They should be the ones talking to them instead of having that outsourced or working with another partner. So I think that's an important area. So mindset, some strategies.

Speaker 2: 48:52

We also talk about environment. Who are you hanging around? What does your physical office or home look like? Is it distracting, like I'm actually in a actual office buildings where our office is, and a long time ago I used to have sweets and everything else in here and I I deal with diabetes and health issues. Some of it's hereditary and probably a lot of it is just how I've eaten. But, um, but now over time I used to have sweets and cookies. Now I don't have those in here. Now I have yogurt, vegetables, fruits around me in that environment, so I don't look to get up very often to eat those things, but I will eat those things because they're here.

Speaker 2: 49:34

When I'm at home I've got that refrigerator in the pantry and like, oh, look at all these sweets. This is awesome. Of course I've got to do a better job of honing in that home environment, but there's more of us living there, but it's really important for the environment. From then, of course, your mindset is that great filter. Your mindset in psychology is a great filter.

Speaker 2: 49:54

So early on in my career, my life, it was always about looking at the downside of things, limiting beliefs and going through that filter. Even though somebody else was successful or maybe was encouraging me and mentoring and something like that, I haven't proven it to myself yet, so it's probably not going to happen. And because I said that, that became a self-fulfilling prophecy, so anything I tried was through that filter. Now I've learned to change what I say, the vision I have of myself Instead of thinking of myself now, the impact I can have on other people. And then I was going to say even earlier in our conversation that two things that have been very powerful. Number one is when I speak something hey, I'm going to be a coach, I'm going to achieve this goal, I'm going to achieve this goal, I'm going to travel to this location for vacation. When I speak that to people, that's one of the things that's held my feet to the fire. And also, too, the mentoring is probably the biggest aspect the environment and mentoring being willing to be a good mentee from a good mentor.

Speaker 2: 50:57

A lot of people want to help and train and encourage, but I wasn't at a point, especially a long time ago, to listen. Like who are they to tell me what to do? Then come to find out when I was beating my head up against the wall multiple times. I'm like why don't I listen to somebody else? You know, I've been given the illustration of why not have somebody else go through the minefield. If you're thinking of a war terminology, go through the minefield first and you know what paths and steps they took, and now just follow the steps and how much time, stress, frustration and money will that save yeah, yeah, and some beautiful insights uh that we just uh just discussed, cory, and I appreciate your deeper insights and the things that you've brought to the table today.

Speaker 1: 51:44

What can people do to find you, and what kind of systems do you provide for them to connect with you or whatever?

Speaker 2: 51:54

Yeah, right now I'm trying to keep it very simplified, which is also very duplicatable for my clients. But the biggest one is probably my website, which is wwwcorydunhamcom, that's C-O-R-Y-D-U-N-H-A-Mcom, and also my LinkedIn profile, and I don't remember that, but my LinkedIn profile has a lot of content on it events, videos, thought leadership on there and they can contact me through my LinkedIn account.

Speaker 1: 52:27

Super. We'll add those to the show notes in any case. So if people want to go there straight from here, they just click on the link below. Awesome, thank you. Thank you very much, corey, for your time. I know you've been pretty busy, so it's just between a couple of things. Thank you for taking the time. You're a very busy person and, yeah, I enjoyed our conversation immensely because there's a lot of deep stuff there. You made me think about a couple of things. I love that. I love that.

Speaker 2: 52:57

Well, thank you so much, and I've enjoyed our time here. Love that. Well, thank you so much, and I've enjoyed our time here too.

Speaker 1: 53:02

Yeah, thank you, nico, and thank you listeners, for again listening to the Everlasting Fulfillment Podcast. Don't forget to check out the new ebook on the new website NicoVonDeVernecom and I-C-O-V, e, v, e, n, n? Ecom, and remember to jump from head to heart and feel the beat within. Have a great one, everybody.